HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOURSELF?
Ask yourself this questions?
- If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
- Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
- If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
- Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
- How much time do you spend looking for things you can’t find?
- Are you motivated by competition?
- Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?
- Do you work constantly? or think you should be working?
- Do you embrace rules or flout rules?
- Do you work well under pressure?
- What would your perfect day look like?
- How much TV do you watch in a week (include computer time spent watching videos, movies, YouTube)?
- Are you a morning person or a night person?
- What’s more satisfying to you: saving time or saving money?
- Do you like to be in the spotlight?
- Is your life “on hold” in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, get married, lose weight?
- What would you do if you had more energy?
- If you suddenly had an extra room in your house, what would you do with it?
- What people and activities energize you? Make you feel depleted?
- Is it hard for you to get rid of things that you no longer need or want?
- Do you get frustrated easily?
- On a typical night, what time do you go to bed? How many hours of sleep do you get?
- If at the end of the year, you had accomplished one thing, what is the one accomplishment that would make the biggest difference to your happiness?
As Christopher Alexander observed: “It is hard, so terribly hard, to please yourself. Far from being the easy thing that it sounds like, it is almost the hardest thing in the world, because we are not always comfortable with that true self that lies deep within us.”
And here’s another question for you. What questions would you add to this list, to help other people know themselves better? It’s so important, and so elusive.
To understand your inner power, first you need to know who you really are,
Understanding your own personality is the first key. You have the collective opinion of others which is one aspect.
You also have your own database of information about what your personality is really like, and who you are in your private moments as well as in your public ones.
The idea is to get to know your personality inside out, to know what you are and what you are not like. Understand what makes you react a certain way in life’s myriad of situations. Ask yourself “Why did I do that?” and answer it.
Who are you behind your name? What are your characteristic traits? Who are you among friends? What about strangers? What persona do you portray to the outside world?
What are you really like on a good day as well as a bad day, in face of a challenge or a great reward? How do you react to the world around you?
Get to Know Your Core Values
Your core values are the morale codes and the principles you hold near and dear to your heart. When I work with my clients, one of the first things I ask prior to our coaching sessions is a list of their top eight core values.
You probably have more than eight values, but the top eight play the big roles in decision-making, influencing, persuading, conflict-resolution, communication, and living your day-to-day life.
In your work, in your home, in all aspects of your life, which values can you never compromise? Those are your core values.
Is it honesty, integrity, security or flexibility? Is it dedication to others, wisdom and learning, financial comfort or fun? Do you value loyalty above excellence, responsibility above ambition, or innovation above improvement?
Youth is such foolishness. In my 20s, I used to think I know my body. I was but a child. The more I learn about my body, the more mysterious it becomes and the more I push my body, the more it surprises and delights and amazes me. Yours can too.
How well do you know your body, your breathing, your abilities, your limits of balance and flexibility?
Have you ever said “my body can’t do this” and that “my body type won’t do that” without even trying a physical challenge? Before you close the door to wonderful possibilities, take another look. Take the time to become truly intimate with the loveliest temple on earth, your own body.
Your dreams and hopes create the pathway into your future. They help you build the life you can be proud of living.
Your dreams matter. Your dreams are important. Your dreams are worth going after. Don’t believe anything less.
And start getting to know your dreams well. Get to know the details and the specifics.
If you want to become a musician, ask yourself: What instrument do you want to play? What level of proficiency do you want to learn? How big a part of your life would it be? And on and on until you know everything about your dream.
Make your dreams part of your daily pursuits. Take them seriously. Work at them. Glorify them instead of hiding them and being ashamed of them
What do you like and just as important, what do you dislike? Simple, innocent question but knowing this about yourself gives you a lot of confidence into who you are. A lot of people go through life liking what’s popular and disliking what’s not “cool”. Don’t do that.
Take the time to define your likes and dislikes, and don’t put it up for a vote among family and friends. You decide.
Defining your own likes and especially dislikes takes guts. It maybe impolite to dislike attending yet another baby shower or spending 3 hours with extended relatives, but look at the alternative. If you keep doing frustrates you and neglect what brings you joy, you give up part of who you are. It’s the least likely path to any happiness whatsoever.
Stay true to your likes and dislikes. Nobody has to like them but you!
Getting to know yourself allows you to tap into the well of happiness beyond your imagination. Bliss even on cloudy days.
